A Few Favorite Fictions: January 2018

Near the beginning of the year, taking a cue from Jason Stanford‘s #JasonReadsShortStories, I made a goal to try and read one short story (published in 2018) a day.

Of course, I was also sick half the month and missed a bunch of days. That’s okay! I read a lot and I decided only to tweet about the stories I liked. I read more than I shared, and the stories that didn’t work for me, for whatever reason, I simply noted the info on my spreadsheet, and moved on. There’s no point, for me, in spreading negativity. Reading tastes are personal. But the things I did love? I will happily squee about them, and then I thought, “You know what, let’s do a monthly round-up so there are easily accessible records!” Twitter goes by so fast. Blogs are more languidly paced.

So, with that in mind, here are the stories I enjoyed most in January! They are listed alphabetically by title.

A List of Forty-Nine Lies by Steven Fischer (Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Jan/Feb 2018 issue)

Flash fiction that brilliantly uses negative construction to tell a story—you see how it unfolds by the lies the narrator tells, and in that negative space unfolds a heart-wrenching, fierce, vicious story about loss and rebellion and fighting against tyranny. It’s phenomenal.

Alarm Will Sound by Christopher Shultz (Psuedopod)

A fantastic, slow-burn story that builds up to unnerving horror. (It’s fabulous in both text and audio!) The mysterious artist Alarm Will Sound is haunting a small town, and by the time you get to the final few lines, when the full horror hits, you will never look at graffiti tags the same way. Brilliant and disturbing.

Black Fanged Thing by Sam Rebelein (Shimmer)

A deliciously haunting and lyrical horror story about the suffocation of small-town life and a mysterious creature that takes away dreams…even if, in a way, it is the complacency and acceptance of the townsfolk who let this happen. There are many layers going on in here; with its unsettling themes and gorgeous prose, this story is one that will linger in the back of your mind for a long time.

Rachael Unerased by Kaely Horton (Flash Fiction Online)

This is a charming, warm, compassionate story about a woman who finally decides to stop hiding who she is. It has cute lesbians!

Say It Low, then Loud by Osahon Ize-Iyamu (Clarkesworld)

Science, math, and trauma twine together in a brilliant and subversive tale about war and names and family. Osahon is a fantastic upcoming author, and you’ll want to read his work, which is complex and facinating and has feels.

The Court Magician by Sarah Pinsker (Lightspeed)

A masterful use of POV,  which subtly layers in elements of the story until the full impact of wht is happening slams into you at the end. This story explores themes of magic, cost, complicity, and it’s a fantastic read.

The Eyes of the Flood by Susan Jane Bigelow (Lightspeed)

This is so gorgeous, so full of beauty and hope, and made me happy-cry at the end. The voice, the story unfolding, the connection in the end. Exactly the kind of uplifting, wondrous story I needed to read.

The Only Harmless Great Thing by Brooke Bolander (Tor)

In her debut novella, Bolander proves once again she is a master of blistering, vicious prose that will peel open your brainmeats and dig down into your heart. An alt history story that combines the Radium Girls and Topsy the elephant, The Only Harmless Great Thing is a brutal, heartbreaking, and ultimately triumphant story about the oppression and how people resist. There is hope for the future, even with so bloody a past as we all have.

The Substance of My Lives, the Accidents of Our Births by José Pablo Iriarte (Lightspeed)

Jamie is a non-binary kid who remembers their past lives, and is trying once again to navigate through their present, and the microaggressions and genderfeels and questions that have always been with them. It’s a lovely, quiet, personal story, and the choices Jamie makes when they encounter trauma from their past life, is deeply hopeful and uplifting.

Those We Feed by Layla Al-Bedawi (Fireside Fiction)

The perfect blend of motherhood and cannibalism! This twisted little story is a delight, as the narrator struggles with, and finally accepts, her child…including the child-thing’s hunger.

Two Years Dead by Kathryn Kania (Fireside Fiction)

This is an adorable story about a ghost and the girl she works up the courage to date, and it has a happy ending and cute lesbians and it’s so PURE AND GOOD. ❤

Wasps Make Honey by Penelope Evans (Escape Pod)

Do you like stories that will give you ALL THE HAPPY FEELS? Do you like robots? Do you like robot love stories? “Wasps Make Honey” is a beautiful, hilarious, wonderful tale about two scrappers who live by salvaging what they can, until a new robot comes into their lives. This is all about family and friendship and community, and it’s marvelous and will leave you with a wide, happy grin and a full heart by the end.


giphy-downsized (12)
Me, reading a lot of fiction in January

Big shout-out to these awesome authors and their excellent stories! ❤ January was a lovely month for reading. You can follow me on Twitter @Merc_Rustad for insta-recs when I like things, or check back at this blog at the end of February for a recap of the month!

2017 In Review: Words and Games

With 2018 on the horizon, I feel a little like Dante surfacing from the circles of Hell and looking at Virgil and being like, “What the fuck, dude?!”

Gustave Doré’s Dramatic Illustrations of Dante’s Divine Comedy

Yeah, 2017 was A Thing That Happened. It had a lot of bad. A lot. But it also had quite a few good things, and it’s important to highlight the good things when you’re playing on nightmare mode and have no save slots in the game.

So hey, here are some things I accomplished this year! Good things. Things I am proud of and hope to repeat in the future. Just, you know, maybe while not running around a hellscape with some ghost-poet bro.


Screenshot 2017-12-31 17.05.44

So it turns out I actually wrote a lot of words this year. That snapshot above? Yeah, that’s from my GYWO spreadsheet. Holy fuck, you guys. o.O  I wrote about 334,240 words in 2017. That’s a lot of taps on the keyboard.

It breaks down something like this:

18 finished short stories
4.5 finished novelettes
2.5 finished novellas
1 finished novel
And about 56,000 words on my COG game (which is on hiatus at the moment and is going to end up around 200-250k when done).


The rest of the words are split between unfinished short story drafts, nonfiction, ideas and notes, and other things I chose to count. That’s a lot of fiction words. If you’d asked me last year (2016) how much I expected to produce, my goal for Get Your Words Out was 150k and I thought that was really gonna push my limits.

You know what’s funny? The moment I look away from my spreadsheet, my brain is like, Well you didn’t do very much this year, slacker. Which is a lie, of course. And this is why I keep detailed stats of my progress and projects, because when the doubtroaches surface, when the depression hits hardest, when the anxiety crawls through my ears into my thought neurons, I can look at this Excel page and be like, “See? That’s not nothing. So shut the fuck up, doubtroaches, and go away. I don’t have time for your lies.”



I have an awards eligibility post here. In 2017, I had 14 original stories published. And my debut collection, SO YOU WANT TO BE A ROBOT, was published by Lethe Press! I’m super proud of these stories. I will have six original stories/novelettes coming out in 2018, and I’ve been solicited for several different anthologies. That is so cool, guys. It’s gonna be an exciting and busy year! 😀


dishonoredPrey_cover_artshadow of war

Video games are a safety net for my mental health, along with being one of my favorite pastimes. It’s telling how horribly long 2017 has felt, because I could have sworn half of these were last year. But nope, I looked at my achievements listings (thank you, Xbox date stamps!) and everything on this list is squarely in 2017. So here are the games I played & finished this year.

Dishonored: Definitive Edition (x2)

First playthrough was in High Chaos, because I am really bad at stealth. XD Then I started a new game and aimed (and succeeded!) for Low Chaos. What I love about this system is how it affects everything: from the dialogue and NPC chatter to the weather and the aesthetic, to the big show pieces such as the climactic chapter of the game. I love so much about this game, even with its flaws: the world-building, the whales, the small details woven through codex entries and songs; the relationships that play out between characters; the gameplay mechanics and UX; and really, just running around being a garbage rat murder-dad was such fun.


The Knife of DunwallThe Brigmore Witches

In these DLCs for Dishonored, you play as Daud and see the story from—before the scene in the game, and after—unfold. It delves into the world more, has a lot of feels, and is so much fun. Daud is my favorite. (I mean, hell, I loved these games so much I wrote fanfic where Daud and Corvo are dogs…)

Dishonored 2 (x2)

Again, I played the whole game twice: first in High Chaos (as Corvo), and second in Low Chaos (as Emily). It’s fascinating to see and hear the differences both for each PC choice, as well as whether you go high or low chaos. This game is beautiful, too: everything is shinier and the Clockwork Mansion is a masterpiece of visual aesthetics.

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider

The last chapter in the storyline preceded by Dishonored, this brings a close to Billie, Daud, and the Outsider’s stories. It’s a gorgeous game where you get to play a disabled bisexual Black woman, and it is amazing. Billie is such a fantastic protagonist, so snarky and with much commentary about her world. Plus the ending resolution, if you choose the non-lethal option when you find the Outsider, hit me in ALL THE FEELS. It was perfect.

Doki Doki Literature Club!

This game is fucked up and terrifying and brilliant in the use of game mechanics and metadata to mess with the player’s head. It starts like a dating sim and then it just gets unnerving.

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator (x3)

This is the first dating sim game I’ve ever played, and it was such a delight. It’s charming, relatable, and wonderfully designed and animated. Dadsona may be one of the most relatable dad-characters in gaming, let’s be real. And Amanda is top-notch adorable.

Layers of Fear

I loved the visual aesthetics and creepy atmosphere of this game. It’s a first person exploratory, psychological horror story about an artist who is trapped in an ever-changing haunted house. It’s delicious and unnerving, even if it has a lot of puzzles (I hate puzzles). Plus, I love when games have multiple possible endings.


A beautiful, creepy game with snark and ghosts and time-travel fuckery. Which is all my jam.


S C R E A M I N G I loved this so much! It hits so many of my favorite buttons: shadowy monsters, set in spaaaaace, you get to eat things, and also you can have a shotgun or hit things with a wrench. It reminded me strongly of BioShock meets Dishonored, and I was delighted by the two ending options you could choose. You can also make adorable little cubes and shapes and craft stuff, which is soothing af. What’s also wonderful was how many casually queer characters are in this. And POC! And so few white men! It was amazing and so refreshing, even as you realize that everyone is doomed. Plus, “Intrinsic Value” may be my new favorite (accidental) achievement ever. xD

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor (x2)

I picked this up in March when a coworker described the Nemesis System to me and sold me on that alone. Then I played and fell in love with everything about this: the Orcs, Talion, the storytelling, the gameplay mechanics and UX (although the menus were annoyingly confusing at first). But let’s be real: the Orcs are the best thing about this series. They’re hilarious, charming, delightful, brutal, snarky, endearing, and I adore the Nemesis System so completely. One of my favorite parts in this game is sneaking around and just eavesdropping on the Orc chatter. And any time an enemy kills Talion, I laughed and laughed in delight. Never has it been so much fun to get your character killed in horrible ways!

Middle-earth: Shadow of War

What Shadow of Mordor set up by the end (the forging of a new Ring), Shadow of War paid off beyond my expectations. Everything in this sequel is just as good or better than the first game. And the main storyline? COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY FEELS. In the best way. It was perfect, exactly what I wanted, and so satisfying. Talion’s journey is epic and deeply personal. (I give no fucks about how this slots into the timeline; it can be an AU in Middle-earth if need be, but it is perfect for me.)  The siege and conquest system of fortresses is super fun; strategy and tactics come into play, you get shiny armor and weapon upgrades, and my favorite is all the cut scenes when you face off against Captains and Warchiefs and Warlords. The dialogue is brilliant, the animation is gorgeous, and it’s so visceral and satisfying on so many levels. I love Shelob and Sauron and Bruz and all the other hero Orcs, Carnan and the Balrog, plus the Gondorians and the Nazgul and everyone else. Also, someone please pay me to write “The Continuing Adventures of Ranger and Ratbag,” because I will write that novel SO FAST.

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt + Hearts of Stone & Blood and Wine (replay)

This is, perhaps, one of my favorite games. In 2016 I binged the entire Witcher franchise (yes, starting with the clunky and awkward first Witcher game on a PC). The Witcher 3 will probably be a game I replay yearly: it’s unbearably gorgeous, fun, and soothing with familiarity while still being entertaining and satisfying. (I mean, I haven’t gotten all the achievements yet, so…)

And Looking Into 2018…

So. New year, new start, all that, right?

Yeah. I don’t necessarily have grand resolutions. They are small things, achievable things: be kind, raise up others’ voices, support artists, continue creating, focus on mental-health and self-care, and bring as much joy to others as I can. I love seeing people happy. It is my greatest pleasure to encourage and support and praise and enjoy others’ work. I love squeeing about awesome things, and since 2017 proved I am out of fucks, let’s go all out. Let’s celebrate art and people; let’s create and revel in the things we love; let’s support each other in ups and downs; let’s make this world just a little better, one action and word at a time.

Happy 2018, everyone! Be the badass mofos you were born to be. ❤ Peace.

Awards Eligibility 2017

So, this year was pretty damn good in terms of stories published. For people reading and nominating for various SFF awards, such as the Nebulas, the Hugos, and World Fantasy, I would be honored if you considered any of my work! ❤


Short Stories

Monster Girls Don’t Cry (Uncanny, January/February 2017)

Longing For Stars Once Lost (Lightspeed, September 2017)

For Now, Sideways (Diabolical Plots, August 2017)

What the Fires Burn (PodCastle, August 2017)

The House At the End of the Lane Is Dreaming (Lightspeed, December 2017)


Later, Let’s Tear Up the Inner Sanctum (Lightspeed, February 2017)


Interactive Fiction

This Is A Picture Book (sub-Q Magazine, November 2017)


Other Short Stories

These are not available online yet, but I am happy to email a copy of individual stories in your preferred format. Just ping me and let me know (via the contact page). 🙂

Brightened Star, Ascending Dawn (Humans Wanted, ed. Vivian Caethe, August 2017)

Fathoms Deep and Fathoms Cold (Submerged, S.C. Butler and Joshua Palmatier, September 2017)

Thrice Remembered (The Death of All Things, Laura Anne Gilman and Kat Richardson, September 2017)

Two Reflections At Midnight (Gamut Magazine, September 2017)


Happy New Year and here’s to a better 2018 for us all!

Writing Recap for 2016

After I sent out the second-to-last-original-submission of the year, I took to Twitter with some flail, because I realized: I have nearly worked through my inventory of finished short fiction. Or, basically: HOLY TACOS, I NEED TO WRITE MORE THINGS!


Let me try to break this down.

I’m pretty obsessive about my fiction organization patterns. I have folders-within-folders until it gets into Inception-like levels deep. Most often it looks like this:

screenshot-2016-12-22-23-31-56FICTION -> current WIPs (short stories) | current revision projects | submissions

The WIPs folder is usually the messiest: drafts, snippets, notes, unfinished chaos. The submissions folder is pretty basic: pending, unsubbed, accepted. However, the folder I look at most often is the current revision projects because that houses stories that I’m actively working on and wish to submit to markets.

At the beginning of the year, the current revision projects folder had around eleven stories in it. Not a lot, but not a few, either. The average number of stories-to-revise/edit in that folder settled around 5-6. Some stories had been sitting in there for *mumble* long time, and some were brand new. The specific contents of the folder fluctuate a good deal, because I move things in and move things out. (A finished draft gets backed up and then a duplicate saved into the revisions folder, where it’s queued up for editing. A finalized revision gets copied into the submissions folder, and the original backed up and archived.)

However. On this, the 23rd day of December 2016, there is one story left in my current revision projects folder. And it will be edited and sent out into the big, bright world by the month’s end.


Guys. Everything in the queue has been submitted or sold. That’s…that’s kind of mind-boggling. o_O Exciting, too!

Here’s some specific stats:

In 2016 I’ve sold 10 original stories and 1 debut short story collection.

In 2016 I had 8 original stories published.

Number of stories written, revised, submitted, and sold in 2016 (that is, projects less than a year old): 4



I wrote a lot. Essays (“I Don’t Want Your Queer Tragedy: A Parable” and “The Necessity of Hope“). Patreon-specific stories. Novel words. Outlines. Other exciting things.

Major life things happened. (Almost exclusively good things, such as name change and moving and new job and graduating college and new car and attending cons.) I have endured, and in some ways, prospered.

I will continue to write, to resist, to share stories of fierceness and hope and triumph. We need them. I won’t stop (or throw away my shot!) so… Bring on 2017.

Award Eligibility 2016

The Nebula Awards nomination period is open and SFWA members can nominate until February 15th, 2017. I’m very proud of the work I had published this year, and would be honored if you were to consider any of my stories. So, I present to you my award-eligible works from 2016:

This Is Not a Wardrobe Door * (1,800 words)

Published in Issue 29 of Fireside , January 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), the Hugos (short story), and World Fantasy (short story).

…Or Be Forever Fallen (5,000 words)

Published in InterGalactic Medicine Show, February 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), the Hugos (short story), and World Fantasy (short story).

The Android’s Prehistoric Menagerie  (3,300 words)

Published in Issue 2 of Mothership Zeta, February 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), and the Hugos (short story).

Iron Aria (4,900 words)

Published in Issue 34 of Fireside, July 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), the Hugos (short story), and World Fantasy (short story).

Lonely Robot In A Rocket Ship In Space  (4,400 words)

Published in Cicada Magazine, July/August 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), and the Hugos (short story).

The Gentleman of Chaos  (4,100 words)

Published in Apex Magazine, August 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), the Hugos (short story), and World Fantasy (short story).

What Becomes Of The Third-Hearted (2,000 words)

Published in Shimmer 33, September 2016. Eligible for the Nebulas (short story), the Hugos (short story), and World Fantasy (short story).

* If I were to pick one story to put forward as The One to consider this year, I have to go with “This Is Not A Wardrobe Door” because not only does it have dinosaurs, it is all about hope and friendship and building your own path through difficult times.

The Necessity of Hope

Way back when, as a young!Merc, I attended a gun safety class. One session had a slide show about wilderness survival.

A [generalized “average”] human can survive:

3 weeks without food
3 days without water
3 minutes without air
3 seconds without hope

The point was that if you get lost in the wilderness, don’t panic. But it was that last line that stuck with me.

Three. Seconds.

Three seconds without hope.



No one needs a recap on how horrible the political climate is right now. It’s bad. It’s terrifying.

So many of my friends are struggling and scared and hurting. So am I.

We have already lost people. We will lose more. It hurts so fucking much to say that. To realize that some of us, when hope is lost, will not be here tomorrow.


Here’s a thing about depression. It’s inside your head. It’s right there, often inescapable (how can you get away from your own brain?) chewing up your thoughts and telling you horrible lies. Depression eats hope. And when the hope is gone, sometimes the depression wins.

I don’t know if the three-second example is accurate–it may be a very personal timeframe, or it may not. But the basis is true: we need hope to live.

All of us.


We’re storytelling creatures who thrive on narrative. We understand story on an instinctive level. We see and experience and feel, and we weave these things into a narrative: our story, the stories of others, the stories we choose to tell and see and believe.

So let’s say that you read a lot, or watch visual media, or otherwise consume a classical idea of narrative structure on one form of sensory input or another. You read and read and read, absorbing all these ideas about how life works, how people work, how emotions work. And sometimes these stories aren’t satisfying, or sometimes they are upsetting, and sometimes they are both and you don’t know why.

It takes awhile to level up enough to be able to decrypt why some stories bother you more than others. And when you get it, you can’t stop thinking about it (just like that slide in the presentation years ago).

The stories without hope leave you cold. Or worse, they hurt.

Because here’s the thing: we learn from stories. The ones that offer hope? However dark or grim they may be, however much pain and loss they may hold, if they have that hope at the end, these stories tell you: you can survive this.

The ones that don’t tell you something equally powerful: why bother?

(That is a lie the depression tells you, sometimes. “What is the point? Why do you keep fighting? Don’t you know you’re worthless?” The thing is, depression is a lying liar who lies, but it’s very hard to see that, sometimes, or reject the lies.)

“Hopeless” is used as an insult. When you think about it, it’s a terrible, terrible word. One who is without hope is one who is unlikely to live.

And I want you–I want all of us–to live.


I found a cache of young!Merc writings earlier this month as I was moving. I glanced through some of them. Laughed at the terrible prose, but a little sadly–because young!Merc was so desperate to figure out how to survive, even if young!Merc didn’t know it at the time, and that pain and desperation came out in grim, violent narratives. And yet, in all the darkness, there was always a tiny speck of hopefulness.

Because even young!Merc recognized that they needed that to survive.

If not all stories would give them hope, then they would carve it out of despair and cling to it for all they were worth.


Not everyone needs the same things from stories. Not everyone needs to hear the same thing. Personal taste is personal. That’s okay! And ‘dark’ or ‘grim’ does not mean lack of hope in a story. It’s not a binary. Hope-stories are not all fluff and light.

How do you define it? I don’t know. Sometimes that’s equally personal.

For me, I can tell you that when everything is darkness/despair/grimdark/unhappiness, when there is rampant nihilism and disregard for any sense of joy, that is likely to be a story without hope. And I don’t want to experience that.

Look at real life. We have enough fucking horriblness to go around ten zillion times, that I don’t want to fight through a narrative that mimics that level of awful and find that none of the struggle mattered.

I need the stories that bolster hope; hope is fighting against the depression and the darkness. It’s fighting with everything we’ve got, in whatever means we can–not everyone can resist in the same way, and that is more than okay. It is necessary. We need multiple paths of resistance; activism is multi-varied, like the people who activate it.

Whether you write, or speak, march or stay back to keep others afloat (and yourself), call on the phone or email, stay low-key to protect yourself and others or shine on the front lines…all of this matters. No one thing is inherently “better” than another. The thing that is most important to know is: YOU matter. You are necessary and needed and I want you to stay, if you can.

Fighting against the darkness and oppression is not always a visible or violent show. Sometimes it is quieter, and just as fierce. Perhaps it is writing fiction that can reach out to others and tell them: you are not alone, and we can do this.

I write; that is part of my resistance against the awful and the dark and despair. I will keep writing.

Ada Hoffmann wrote a brilliant, moving essay “On hope and voices” that I encourage you to read in full.

And art. Art. Please, if you are reading this, keep believing in your art, in your stories or paintings or songs or whatever it is that you do.

We can build each other up with our art, with our will, with our hope, with our fierce and undying courage to resist the apathy and despair.

Hope wants more than three seconds. It wants a lifetime.


Not all my stories are joy and light and happiness. Some of them are dark. Sometimes we need the dark to contrast the things that are brighter.

But when I write, when I consider new stories I want to tell, need to tell, I ask myself, “Can this story help extend those three seconds just a little longer, so the reader can get to the next thing and continue on?”

And I try, I try so hard, to make the answer “Yes.”

Variations On YOU: Writing Second Person Point Of View

Second Person POV is the style of “you.” Maybe you’re familiar with Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Books, or text-based games, tutorials, articles like this one, or people who really dislike this form of narrative choice.

Telling a story in second person can be tricky. Difficult to do well. Has pros and cons. Is a stylistic preference.  So basically it’s like everything else in writing.

And like any other POV choice, second person is not a monolith. Not all first person narrators sound the same (or one hopes they wouldn’t), not all third person narratives sound the same, not all omniscient narrators sound the same. (#notallnarrators) Second person needs a voice. The second person point of view in your story will, one hopes, be distinct for that narrator. It will have sparks and tone and subtext unique to the story, traces of the author’s fingerprints. Voice helps a story breathe.

SUDDEN PLOT TWIST: now the narrator is in first person!

So all that lead-up was, well, preface to an interesting thing I realized just now.

No one will be surprised that I adore second person POV. I’ve written it, I love reading it, and I think it’s a valid and exciting style choice in fiction.

So picture this. Thunderstorm! Lightning! Booms! The rain is lovely but all the noise is hard to sleep with. So Merc is noodling around at 2 a.m. Just before bed (not very many hours earlier), they had been doing weekly organizational clean-up of files and folders on their laptop.

Merc notices something particular: they have two short story WIPs that are in the second person. (You may also notice the narrative has switched to third-person here.)

First story is an expansion of until-recently-abandoned writing prompt, of which the origins are lost to time and failure to keep notes. It’s a postapocalyptic thing full of hard-edged images and Possibly Feels. There’s a maybe!werewolf. It has a solid voice, one that sticks out in Merc’s brain as clicking for that particular story. It’s missing half its plot and an ending, but hey. The voice is there! (I’ll figure out how it ends eventually.)

Then there is the second story, a metafictional horror/SF thing about video games and monsters and really bad decisions. This one has a narrative reason it’s in second person: it’s mimicing gameplay in which “you” would be the user, controlling a character. It’s also the POV of the game’s title character, who’s achieving awareness, and is really unhappy with what the game developers think she should do in the narrative.

This one has plot, has an ending, and is sitting in the ‘currently revising’ folder. And as much as I like the concept and how things unfold, I found myself dissatisfied. It occurred to be right before bed that the dissatisfaction? It’s coming from the lack of compelling voice in the story.

Or rather, the first half of the story. As it develops, the narrator begins to gain some sense of self. But that first part? Where she’s more or less a blank slate a la video game character creation phase? That’s tricky. Because even if the narrator is a blank slate, I need to be able to convey that while also engaging the voice of the story right away.

“But Merc, surely the conceit of the story–that it’s a game–will be enough to sustain the first third until the voice kicks in?” a hypothetical you may ask.

To which I reply, “Oh, man, I wish.”

See, for me, the conceit is not enough. I need to have a strong, compelling voice pulling the narrative along; a way to draw the reader in to the self-discovery-then-chaos plotline. And like everything writing-wise, this is so much easier to say than do.

Because fact is, right now I don’t know how to fix the voice problem. I give myself two points for realizing that is is a voice problem and not, say, just the rampaging doubtroaches swarming like an apocalyptic nightmare over the hill towards my brain.

Now, let’s shift gears a moment and talk about that thing that will invariably pop up regarding second person POV: some people dislike it and think it should not be used.

Here’s the thing. Personal preference is great. You don’t like it? That’s okay! You’ll be happy to know that the vast majority of narrative out there is still in first and third person. Really! Second person didn’t take an eraser and go destroy all the lovely first and third person stories written since the beginning of time. Go ahead and check.

Here’s the other thing: second person POV is a narrative choice that is not inherently good or bad. It is neutral. It is a grammatical and stylistic choice in how to tell a story. This isn’t a dichotomy like the Sith/Jedi.

It’s like anything else in writing: how you do it is what matters. There are terrible examples of first, second, and third person out there. There are utterly fantastic examples of first, second*, and third person out there.

*TW in the “The Button Bin” for very disturbing material and rape; it’s horror, and one of the first stories I read where I really understood how 2nd POV could be used to such effect.

Second person is a tool in the writer’s kit. If you don’t like it, that’s okay! You are not obligated to read it, write it, or promote it. You also don’t have to be That Guy who goes around bashing what other people like because their tastes don’t align (or follow) his. Second person is not the devil trying to buy your soul at a competitor’s coupon discount. Show class and good sportspersonship and let other people enjoy things, all right?

I love second person. I know other people do, too. And that’s great! We are allowed to like this form of storytelling. There is nothing wrong with liking, reading, or writing second person POV.

There is room in the world for all kinds of prose, all kinds of styles. We have space to celebrate and explore and experiment with words and ideas. Go forth and create your narratives, tell your stories, unspool your dreams. Let us share our excitement and hopes and adventures. We can all benefit from more voices, from more stories, from more truths.

I’d love to see what you write. 🙂


Patreon and New Stories!

September launches with a few exciting updates from your friendly neighborhood Merc!

Shimmer Issue 33 is here! It has gorgeous fiction from Fran Wilde, Lora Gray, Ryan Row, and me! “What Becomes of the Third-Hearted” will be available online 9/18/16–and of course you can read it right away in the ebook (along with a bonus interview).


Diabolical Plots has released a lineup of Year 3 fiction, and I am delighted to have a story slated for next summer: “For Now, Sideways” is about the costs of war, grief and coping, and also has mechs and ghostbirds.

And finally, I embark on a new and shiny adventure with Patreon! If you become a Patreon backer, you can access a free ebook copy of my novelette, Hero’s Choice. There are all sorts of details on the official page, with a welcome video coming soon. 🙂


Merc Is Creating Stories, Comics & Essays!

I hope you all have a good weekend!

Wilde Stories 2016 is now available!

The latest volume in Wilde Stories, a Year’s Best collection of gay speculative fiction edited by Steve Berman, is loose in the wilds!

wilde2016It includes a reprint of my story, “To the Knife-Cold Stars” (originally published in Escape Pod). There book has a fantastic line-up of excellent authors, and I’m honored to be included in such a collection. ❤

Wilde Stories 2016: The Year’s Best Gay Speculative Fiction

(ed. by Steve  Bernam, Lethe Press)

It’s available in ebook via Smashwords, and paperback available at Amazon, or directly through Lethe Press’s website.